STOP THE MADNESS
The Arab and Muslim community is once again in shock upon learning that two Muslim youths were implicated in a senseless crime of murder. This was unheard of in the Muslim community just a few years ago. Nowadays it is common to hear about Muslims being involved in shocking crimes such as drinking, drug dealing, drug abuse, murder, criminal sexual assault, etc. Just take a look on the internet, and see for yourselves. Why is this happening in our community? These headlines are becoming commonplace in the media.
Another major problem that has been creeping into the community is the high divorce rate, especially among newlyweds. The divorce rate is approximately fifty percent, if not more. The crimes and the high divorce rate are like a cancer that must be stopped and treated immediately. I understand that some couples may have irreconcilable differences and the only way out is a divorce, but at this rate it is beyond comprehension and is unconscionable. People must understand the importance of marriage and family in Islam. They must commit to the institution of matrimony. They must realize the seriousness of marriage, and must avoid to live a carefree life. The newlyweds must realize that life is not the same as when you were single. There must be a commitment to your spouse, and your new family. This is a command by Allah. Newlyweds are supposed to love, support, and comfort one another, not neglect and disregard one another. You now have a commitment to your spouse and family, not to your friends and old ways. The family comes first. Parents need to instill that in their children, and advise them to commit to the marriage and respect one another and respect the feelings of each other. When a parent witnesses a wrong, that parent must stop it and correct it, and not defend it. This is the moral and Islamic duty on part of the parent. Parents must do everything in their power to encourage harmony between the newlyweds.
With regard to the crime rate, the problem is that many of these crimes are committed shamelessly out in the open, and those committing them are oblivious to the moral decay it is causing the community, and the harm it brings not only to themselves, but also to their parents and immediate family members. It is a tragedy that some are very far away from Islam, that they resort to these crimes.
What is causing this moral decay, and who is to be blamed? Some people are quick to blame others, such as the community leadership, the Mosques, and the Muslim schools for not doing enough. Is this really true ? These leaders and institutions are doing more than enough to educate the community about Islam and teach us how a Muslim should live his or her life, and how parents should raise their children, etc. There are numerous programs in the Mosque Foundation and the Community Center and the schools that are designed for young and old, men and women, boys and girls. The purpose of these institutions is to educate and help. They are not, in any way, responsible for raising your children. It is you, the parents, that are responsible for properly raising your children and teaching them Islam, and teaching them right from wrong. No one else can raise your child. If we continue to blame others, and we turn a blind eye to the wrongful acts, then we are in trouble as a community.
The real problem is that some parents rarely blame themselves for the shortcomings of their children. When a parent sees or hears that his or her child made a mistake, or committed a wrong or a crime, the parent is quick to defend these wrongs and say that this child is still young and naïve and doesn’t know any better. Well, why shouldn’t this child know any better? It is your responsibility to teach this child to know better. You, as the parent, must take all necessary action to correct the wrong. A parent cannot disregard the truth and adopt the wrongful acts of the child. If your child is wrong, admit it and talk to that child about it, and make that child cease and desist immediately. This is the duty of the parent. People will respect you for that. You will increase your self-respect, not to mention the great reward you will receive on Judgment Day.
The Quran teaches us that parents are responsible for their children. We need to imagine ourselves in front of Allah on Judgment Day, answering for the way we brought up our children. What would one say? I did not have time to sit with him or her and teach them. I did not have time to inquire as to what they were doing, or where they were going. We cannot allow ourselves to be in this position. We must do a lot more.
We need to take immediate action now. Every parent must begin teaching their children now, while they are young. If we neglect this duty now, what will happen when the child grows up? How do we expect that person to be as an adult? Parents must take control and supervise their children’s behavior and actions. Parents must know who their children are hanging out with, who their friends are, and where they go. Parents who are lenient and allow their children to live a carefree life, and turn a blind eye, are doing nothing but encouraging them to continue to commit wrongs, and this will lead to major sins and crimes as we have witnessed in the community and in the media on many occasions.
When a child is physically hurt, the parent feels the pain of the child. The parent will do anything to alleviate the pain of the child. If the parent cares so much, why can’t the parent imagine the pain and suffering that the child will endure in the afterlife if the child is far away from Islam in this life? We need to start thinking of what Allah wants from us, what He expect of us, and how He wants us to raise our families.
May Allah guide us all to the right path and protect us and our children. Ameen
Wisam Zegar, Vice President