Ramadan and Our Children

by Abdallah Shuaibi, Ph.D

Education Committee Chair

The Messenger of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, "Ramadan has come to you. (It is) a month of blessing, in which Allah covers you with blessing, for He sends down Mercy, decreases sins and answers prayers. In it, Allah looks at your competition (in good deeds), and boasts about you to His angels. So show Allah goodness from yourselves, for the unfortunate one is he who deprived in (this month) of the mercy of Allah, the Mighty, the Exalted."

Fasting is a great responsibility that requires lots of effort and hardship, patience and strength of will; in addition to that, it is an obligation that Allah promises us a reward for keeping it and a punishment for leaving it. This requires parents to encourage their children to perform this obligation.

How can we ensure that the days of fasting will be moments of happiness in the hearts of our children?

It is very important for children to see the hospitality and joy of this holy month.  One of the most important things is to train our children to fast (gradually). It would be difficult to let our children grow up and expect them to fast an entire month without preparation. They must be prepared during their young ages by encouraging the child to fast half a day in the beginning.  In order to encourage our children to fast it is important to give them prizes at the end of a day of fasting, or at the end of the holy month.  At a certain age, our children will understand that the big reward is from Allah for fasting this holy month and for performing good deeds.  Fasting instills confidence in a child, and develops his sense of responsibility when he feels that he is doing what adults are doing. Perhaps this explains the persistence and enthusiasm from some children to fast the whole month at a young age, which in turn has a positive impact on their behavior and acts of worship.  Ramadan is also a great opportunity to instill the great meanings of faith in the hearts of our children, like patience to endure hunger and thirst, and the understanding that Allah always sees what we do even if people do not.

The following points will summarize some of the educational gestures to help educate our children:

• Doing good and helping others:  The month of Ramadan is the month of generosity. Ibn ‘Abbas said, "The Messenger of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) used to be at his most generous in Ramadan." Invest the month of Ramadan to instill in your child the love of good and  helping others. You may involve your child in the distribution of charities to the poor and needy people or in making donations.

• Respecting the feelings of others: Train your child during the month of Ramadan to respect others and respect their feelings. For example, if your child is not fasting due to his young age, encourage him not to eat or drink in front of fasting people. 

• Training to Pray: Ramadan is a great opportunity to train your children to pray “Performing Dua’a”. You can meet with your children before Iftar (breakfast), and encourage each one of them to pray to Allah for good things for himself and the family.

• Maintaining the Prayer: Invest in the faithful atmosphere of Ramadan to instill in your child the love of prayer and regular performance of it. As a parent you should be a role model to him and you should take him with you to perform the Salat (Prayer) at the mosque, and you should reward him from time to time for praying.

• Love of Taraweeh Prayers: Month of Ramadan is the month of standing (Voluntary night prayers). Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, "Whoever stands (in voluntary night prayer) during Ramadan, with faith and in expectancy of reward, his previous sins are forgiven for him." As a parent you need to take your children with you to the Taraweeh prayers in the nights of Ramadan, and make it as a special occasion to meet the family. Try to take them with you for prayer in a place far from home as you are going for a family vacation. This makes them feel happy and enhances the relationship among you all, and this instills in them the love of Taraweeh prayers.

• Love the Quran and connect to it:  The month of Ramadan is the month of the Qur’an, with regards to revelation and study. "The month of Ramadan is that in which was revealed the Qur’an" [Qur’an, Chapter 2, 185]. Ibn ‘Abbas narrated that Angel Gabriel used to meet the prophet every night in Ramadan and used to study Qur’an with him. Make sure to instill the love of the Qur’an in your child during this holy month.  Try to be a role model to your children by reading Qur’an in front of them and telling them stories from the Qur’an in a language that is suitable for their ages. It will be helpful to instill the love of the Qur’an in them by organizing contests for memorizing some surahs from the Qur’an that are suitable for their ages.

• Kinship: Ramadan is a good opportunity for communication between parents and relatives. Try to accept the family invitations for breakfast in Ramadan and invite some families to your house. This will instill the love of kinship in the eyes of your child, and he will follow your steps by being nice to his relatives.